Watering the flower gardens…
June 13th, 2006
My day started and ended the same today, watering the flower gardens. We have daily responsibilities within the house, duties if you will. We have to sign up for them each day, and it’s vital to the house that they be done. Being that there is constant construction on the house, it gets dirty every single day. I am currently without my plants, and for those of you who know me at all, know that the plants that I have are very important to me. I have never really had plants, nor did my mom when I was growing up, but have all of a sudden grown a green thumb. I have been missing them since I have been down here. Amongst everything else that I miss… It has definitely taken me a while to adjust, and I’m not sure that I have yet. It’s a work in progress as I like to think. I was driving last night and was thinking how much I miss Knoxvegas. And for some that might be an obvious observation, but for someone who misses home often, and when I usually refer to home I speak of Michigan, I miss Knoxvegas. Yup, there ya’ have it, I said it out loud. I have settled there, I have found a home there. Not an actual place, but a feeling of home when I’m spending time with those that I love the most. I had been searching for that feeling for a while, and to be honest hadn’t realized it was there until I arrived here. There have been times when I have been in Knoxville and felt home sick. For the feeling, not for a specific place. And being down here, there has been a great realization that home is more of a feeling than a real place. Home is the knowledge of habit, of the everyday things we do when we are at ‘home’. Home is knowing, it’s comfort, it’s the familiar. I imagine my home being a safe place, surround by those that I love, and those that love me the most. A place where my fears are displayed on the table, and are safe there, a place where I can completely be who I am with no hesitation or regret, a place where I can breathe a sigh of relief and feel at peace.
As I venture out into a world that is hard to do justice with a few words, I’m constantly searching for the feelings of home. For the habits, for the knowing, for the comfort. It’s hard where there are new people in here each week trying to work towards a rebuilt city to have the habit, the knowing or the comfort. I have found myself reaching for the familiar. That familiarity has come to me in watering the flower gardens. It definitely takes longer down here than it does at home. But there is some sort of comfort of nurturing something that flourishes with just a bit of attention, just a few minutes of my time. It’s become a time of reflection, processing the day, and debriefing.
It’s odd that watering the flower gardens has helped cure my homesickness, but I would safely say that as humans we look around us for things that are familiar, and in those things we find comfort and in comfort comes a few feelings of home.
I’m looking forward to watering the flower gardens in the morning, it’s a great start to the day, it’s a great way to help a neighborhood look more attractive, and it gives me a feeling that I have been lacking and aching for each day since I have arrived.
June 13th, 2006
My day started and ended the same today, watering the flower gardens. We have daily responsibilities within the house, duties if you will. We have to sign up for them each day, and it’s vital to the house that they be done. Being that there is constant construction on the house, it gets dirty every single day. I am currently without my plants, and for those of you who know me at all, know that the plants that I have are very important to me. I have never really had plants, nor did my mom when I was growing up, but have all of a sudden grown a green thumb. I have been missing them since I have been down here. Amongst everything else that I miss… It has definitely taken me a while to adjust, and I’m not sure that I have yet. It’s a work in progress as I like to think. I was driving last night and was thinking how much I miss Knoxvegas. And for some that might be an obvious observation, but for someone who misses home often, and when I usually refer to home I speak of Michigan, I miss Knoxvegas. Yup, there ya’ have it, I said it out loud. I have settled there, I have found a home there. Not an actual place, but a feeling of home when I’m spending time with those that I love the most. I had been searching for that feeling for a while, and to be honest hadn’t realized it was there until I arrived here. There have been times when I have been in Knoxville and felt home sick. For the feeling, not for a specific place. And being down here, there has been a great realization that home is more of a feeling than a real place. Home is the knowledge of habit, of the everyday things we do when we are at ‘home’. Home is knowing, it’s comfort, it’s the familiar. I imagine my home being a safe place, surround by those that I love, and those that love me the most. A place where my fears are displayed on the table, and are safe there, a place where I can completely be who I am with no hesitation or regret, a place where I can breathe a sigh of relief and feel at peace.
As I venture out into a world that is hard to do justice with a few words, I’m constantly searching for the feelings of home. For the habits, for the knowing, for the comfort. It’s hard where there are new people in here each week trying to work towards a rebuilt city to have the habit, the knowing or the comfort. I have found myself reaching for the familiar. That familiarity has come to me in watering the flower gardens. It definitely takes longer down here than it does at home. But there is some sort of comfort of nurturing something that flourishes with just a bit of attention, just a few minutes of my time. It’s become a time of reflection, processing the day, and debriefing.
It’s odd that watering the flower gardens has helped cure my homesickness, but I would safely say that as humans we look around us for things that are familiar, and in those things we find comfort and in comfort comes a few feelings of home.
I’m looking forward to watering the flower gardens in the morning, it’s a great start to the day, it’s a great way to help a neighborhood look more attractive, and it gives me a feeling that I have been lacking and aching for each day since I have arrived.
posted by kelli at 6:40 PM
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